Today started as one of those days that I wished I could do over. I was frustrated. I had heard the alarm but "blinked" and next thing I knew my husband was shaking me telling me it was time for me to LEAVE for work. So I pulled myself out of bed and threw my clothes on. Splashed some water on my face, pulled my hair into a ponytail and ran out the door...without my lunch or my drink...heck even my change. I was already saying this was going to be a bad day. The day continued much in the same fashion. Ran to pick up Lunch and dropped my bottle of water as I tried to get back in the car and watched it roll away from me in the parking lot. Got my oldests son's days mixed up for something makine me feel like an idiot.
Then I got back to my desk with my lunch and dented and scratched up bottle of water. A few emails back and forth with my BFF and a few deep breaths and I started to relax a little. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath and asked the Goddess to get me through the rest of this day. I realized I was putting out major amounts of negative energy. That's not good for me or anyone else around me. So I sat there and I said "Goddess if you are trying to test me today...you are succeeding...but what are you trying to teach me." The answer rang loud and clear.
I've been too had on myself...well a whole lot lately. I know I drive my husband and BFF up a wall with it. I'll call myself names and say I was stupid or I did something wrong. It's old "programming". From being with my ex-husband who breeds negativity and who's chief talent is making people feel less then they really are. It's time to break that cycle...that habit. I am worth more then that. To myself, to my family, to the people I surround myself with.
I believe it's time I start researching and looking for MY Goddess. The one that speaks to me. She has so many different forms. I know I'm drawn to some of the darker goddesses, Isis, Hecete...It's time to find my Goddess and spirit guides. It's time to get together with one of my favorite witches Tara and work on Reiki. It's time to come completely out of the broom closet and find my place.
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1 comment:
I blame him for it all...he did brainwash you for so long. He terrorized you into believing him...but you ARE better than him. I've known that for a LONG time.
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