First Day of NaBlo

Well today is the first day of the challenge. I was hoping to have something insightful to post, but the caffeine hasn't quite kicked in yet.

Last night went pretty well. We met some friends and took the kids trick or treating over by their house. The kids had a good time. We got home and got them in bed. BD hung out downstairs and I went upstairs to meditate and do a small ritual for Samhain.

I love this time of year...It's when I always feel the presence of my Grandparents the closest. This year seemed to be more though. Maybe because we are in our house now and away from the old place and the ex and all his negativity and negative energy. But this year if I concentrated hard enough I swear I could hear my grandfather's voice. I could smell my grandmother...even over the insence and candles I had burning. There was another presence in the house last night as well. It's a male presence, I believe it was BD's Dad.

After that I meditated for a little while. That was a little strange. Typically in years past anything I might see either in meditation or my dreams on Samhain come to be in one way or another. Not necessarily within that year...but they do. I was standing on my front lawn with my dear Sadiekins. I had a baby on my hip. Who's baby? That I don't know. I know it wasn't Sadie's...but that is all I know. I gather from what we were doing the kids were playing on the front lawn, but I'm not entirely sure. After that it got a little strange...It was like I was ripped from that to a spot I've only been at once before. It was the place I used for a ritual to "cut the cord" with someone who used to be in my life but it was unhealthy to keep them there...even in my heart and dreams. I let them go with light and love when I did...but the connection had to be severed. Anyway...I was ripped from standing there with Sadie and to that place again. She was standing there before me. Anger on her face and the green taint I had seen flowing through her before was still there as prominent as ever...maybe moreso. What looked like the end of the cord I had cut month's prior was dangling from her chest. If it was possible her face twisted up in even more anger and the cord shot straight at me and tried to reattach itself. I fought with it...trying to keep it away the best I could.

Suddenly I felt what I thought was BD's hands on my shoulders shaking me lightly and my eyes flew open yanking me out of that medetative start....talk about a headrush.

Still wondering what it was...if it was her or something else. Until I do I've put up mental mirrors to keep unwanted things out.

Must contimplate it more...